Paint, I have rediscovered you

By Paint, I mean the paint program I had on my old laptop. I could never find an equivalent for Mac until I stumbled upon (literally AND figuratively!!)(Editor's note: That makes no sense unless you know about the site www.stumbleupon.com. You're welcome.) one of the most genuinely entertaining blogs on the planet. It is called Hyperbole and a Half. It is written by a girl named Allie who reminds me so much of myself that it is mildly creepy. I mean, she is 25, she made an Encino Man reference, she likes raptors, she is a grammar nazi, she touched my leg... what? The list goes on.

She draws a lot of pictures on her blog using a program for Mac called Paintbrush. I am so relieved that I read the FAQs on her blog because otherwise I would have never found it... because I am so damn lazy. I mean I looked for other programs and downloaded a few but they were too complicated and intimidating. I deleted them and then emptied the trash immediately so I wouldn't have time to look upon them in shame. Then I lived the rest of my life in despair until I found her blog. Seriously just read one post and I bet you will be hooked.

Anywho, her funny little pictures reawakened my inner artist... err.. computer-based artist. I drew a bunch of pictures on Paint when I worked back at the Department of Labor, but the only one I can think of off the top of my head is dedicated to rats. Robin, my lovely and amusing former co-worker, stated that we were like rats in a cage at our jobs. So I drew this for her:

See how freakin talented I was back in my heyday? So now I'm back on the wagon, and to start off I drew a picture to supplement my last post about trying to sleep in a bed meant for 2 humans, sans dog.

This is what I usually walk in and see. Dennis on the right as usual. Dexter... in my effing spot. Then if I try to move him he moans and groans like a wounded gnarwhal. On a related topic, what is a gnarwhal? It just sounded right at the time. In case you were wondering, Dennis is completely fine. That is not a an alien bursting from his shoulder; he just has a rad tattoo of a squid fighting a whale, and I gave this drawing 110% 17%. Actually I am proud of my Dexter picture and I'm surprised it turned out as nicely as it did due to the angry nature of my previous post from which this drawing is derived.

Fun fact: Don't they both look happy? Which makes it sad that the title of this picture is "sleepytime distress."

Dexter gets all up in my grill and this ain't no bbq

I got a deal today on LivingSocial.com for 4 movie tickets for $20. I am happy.

On another note, here's my dog:

Isn't he effin cute? The premise of this picture is actually really sad. I toss and turn trying to get to sleep most nights because D & Dexter take up so much space that I have to contort my body to try to fit into the jigsaw that is my sleeping situation. So once D wakes up and gets out of bed around 6, I take the opportunity to stretch out across the whole bed. It's nice because Dexter worships D so much that he always gets out of bed with D, leaving the bed all to MEEEEEE.

When D finally leaves, Dexter pines at the window for about ten minutes, then he realizes how effing early it is and tries to get back in bed. Now I'm sitting here, trying to think of a way to describe Dexter's company. The first word that comes to mind is "suffocating." Hm that's a little too strong. How about "no concept of personal space." Yea that's better.

So he gets back into bed and there's plenty of room on either side of me for him to stretch out. But he decides to curl up into a little ball for some reason, probably to increase his momentum (is that how physics works?). Then he curls up right up THISCLOSE next to me, which would be ok, maybe, but then he isn't even settled. It's like he's ready to lay down, he finds his spot, he plops himself down, and then he releases his breath or something, causing him to sway and then settle permanently on top of me. 

It's like someone sitting next to you in the airplane that is clearly too big for their seat sucking in their gut, then sitting down, giving you the illusion that hey, maybe they aren't going to expand all over me. Then they exhale and expand all over you.

It drives me crazy, cause then I try to scoot away, and he finds a way to reposition himself and scoot closer. So I do the only thing I can, which is to exile him from the room. He won't go willingly though. I have to say, "Wanna go potty?" So he gets all excited and runs to the stairs, then I shut the door and sigh contentedly as I drift away to dreamland. I get a good couple hours of sleep in, until I wake up and remember the terrible thing I did.

It wasn't that bad but I knew when I opened the door that his sad little face would be looking at me being like, "Why? Why did you banish me? Did I do something wrong?" and I'd be like, "Well, you were just all up in my grill and I couldn't sleep," and he'd be like, "Oh. I see. So I was trying to get close and snuggle up to you, and you wanted me gone. Ok." Then I'd scream, "Stop with the $#%*ing guilt trip already!!!!!!!" while tearing my nails down my face and writhing around. Meanwhile this conversation has been happening all inside my head. Maybe I should get another dog. Oh right back to the picture.

So I did finally open the door this morning and he did the same thing to the door that he does to me, (invade its personal space). I open the door and he falls into the room because he's all stacked up against the door, expanding a;KL <

\\\t.

Ahem. As I was saying, he's all stacked up against the door, expanding all over it. Excuse my typos, but someone just invaded my lap and tried to settle down. Guess who.

Anyway the picture is him after he joyously jumped back into bed and snuggled up with my blankets. It was cute and D asked me to take a picture, so there you have it.

Wiffleball Kick Off Happy Hour

There was a happy hour tonight for wiffleball at Della Roses at Canton Crossing. $10 for a wristband, not too shabby. And since I am captain it was free for me woo hoo! It pays to be captain I guess. I met almost everyone on my team. That makes me a happy panda. I had 8 people to meet, and 7 showed up, so that was awesome. I am really excited for my team to play and just to make new friends too (as cliched as it sounds).

Ever since D & I moved to Baltimore we have joked about how we have no friends up here. We do have friends in the area, but we just don't hang out with them enough and spend a lot of time by ourselves. We get on well enough, but it is nice to socialize and hang out with new people! We met a few new people through volleyball, and wiffleball is looking to be even better. Can't wait to see how my team gels on the field. They seem to gel pretty well at the bar.. ha ha.

In other news, my dad took us to a concert last night at Rams Head in Annapolis. There was an extra ticket so we asked AF to come. It was such a fun night. We saw Bob Schneider. RAWR! He was awesome. Look at him, all sultry.

If you ever have a chance to see an artist at Rams Head in Annapolis, I would def do it and grab dinner there before hand. The food is off the hook, and the concert venue is pretty small so you can sit really close to the stage. It has tables and you get waited on the whole time. Boo ya!

K it's time for bed for Meghan. But now you all know about my amazing week. It was fun and I like wiffleball. Hope you learned a lot. G'night!

Bohs: Volleyball & Wiffleball Edition, + my 2 Heroes

I've (surprisingly) been keeping up with my food blog, What's On Meghan's Plate, so I haven't really had time to post anything on my real housewives blog. That makes me a sad panda.

Average Bohs - We had an undefeated Sunday last week!! (Sep 5) It was the holiday weekend so only 4 of our team members were able to make it. Luckily one of our players, BJ, brought her husband and we were able to play. We played 4 games and won every single one. Woo hoo! It was so much fun and a great ego boost to win. It's always fun to play, but it doesn't hurt to win a few. :) We played again this Sunday and won 2 out of 4... not as ego-boosting, but still a good time as usual. Go Bohs! One of our players, LB, posted this picture on fb.

Next week is the playoffs, which means it's the last week of volleyball. That is such a bummer. But - wiffleball is starting in 3 weeks so hoorah! Can't wait to see how that turns out.

On another note, oh how I love Stephen Colbert. People are starting to request that Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert hold a rally in some sort of retaliation to Glenn Beck's piece of shit rally in DC. Did you know that there were a million people there, and that they aren't going to let anyone tell them the number were any less than that? Hahahaha. Ok. I'm not sure how I feel about the attention that Beck is getting, and even though it's supposed to be a diss or something like that, I'm sure Beck will cry about how this is proof that his rally changed the nation, nay, the world!! UGH. Anywho, enough about him.

PS. The title of the post was referring to Colbert & Stewart. ;)

Ok I gotta get out of this house and maybe take Dexter to the dog park. Or for a nice long walk. Ciao!

PPS. Dexter (the show) starts back up on Sep 26. Eeeee!!

Trivia Night @ No Idea Tavern

For some reason I got it into my head that I wanted to try out bar trivia on Tuesday. I did some research and tried to find out what kinds of trivia the city of Baltimore had to offer. I created a comprehensive list of possible places to try out. Here's what I have so far:

Monday

James Joyce 7:30

Tuesday

Shuckers 8:00

No Idea Tavern 8:30

Wednesday

Camden Pub 5:00

Alexander's Tavern 8:00

Canton's Portside Tavern 8:00

Waterfront Hotel 8:00

Thursday

Max's Taphouse 9:00

Friday

Edgar's Billiards Club 6:30

Sunday

Maggie Moore's 8:30

I haven't heard of some of these places, but I'm willing to check them all out and grade them!

Tuesday Aug 17: I ask my awesome neighbor (M) over facebook if she would be down for some bar trivia. I knew she would be. I didn't know that she would want to go that same night. It was just a general inquiry about her interest in trivia night. She texts me soon after and says she could meet up at 8:30 that night. I checked my schedule, and wouldn't you know it - there happens to be a trivia night at that exact time. Wow! It must have been fate. So we plan to go.

I text M's bf (J) and tell him to be there or be square. As it turns out, he is not square. He came over before we left and we watched the end of Paul Blart: Mall Cop. I give it a C+.

J bikes to the bar and beats us with 10+ minutes to spare, since we drove and had to find $^&#ing parking in Federal Hill. As we pull into our spot 2 blocks away, Dennis says, "I'm never coming to Federal Hill again by car. Just putting that out there now." Looks like we gotta get some bikes.

J texts me as we're walking to the bar - "We got a table in the back. Team name? 1 min." Our volleyball team, Average Bohs, came to mind naturally. But alas, I did not meet the 1 minute deadline and I was left to the mercy of J's imagination. We were Boh Mamas. I liked it.

We were given a sheet of paper which outlined 5 rounds and 8 answer spaces for each round. There's also a blank next to each round number. I'm guessing they change up the categories each week. First category is Movies from 2010. The emcee for this trivia stands behind the bar and yells out questions over a megaphone. Each group is huddled around a table, communicating in hushed whispers, lest your opponents hear your answers. There was a lot of pantomiming involved. J mouthed to me that one of the answers was "Book of Eli" which I misheard as "Blinking Eye," so I confusedly pointed to my eyes as I blinked spasmodically. Sadly, a few milliseconds later I realized what J was saying, but it was too late. The blinks had already occurred. Alas.

At the end of the round, MC asked if any repeats were needed, then he went through each question one at a time as the crowd shouted the correct answer. The scoring is based on the honor system. You write your own answer in, score yourself, then tally up the points. It seems like it would be pretty easy to cheat, but M pointed out that that prizes must not be that great. Good call. Turns out the prizes are mostly alcohol-based, which is fine by me. Also, the bar plays 2-3 songs between rounds so you have a chance to use the bathroom, grab a smoke, or order another round of drinks.

Poor MC had to call out each of the team names after each round and the team responded with their score for the round. I say poor because while we just picked a name thinking, 'we need a team name,' many others picked a name thinking, 'this guy is going to call this out over a megaphone in a crowded bar.' My favorite was "Paging Dr. Faggot." (PS. If you haven't seen The Hangover, stop reading and go see it now.) One team was called "The back door is open" which wasn't that great, but after the 3rd or 4th round MC changed it to "The back door is slightly ajar." Someone yelled out, "I hope no one gets in!" I laughed.

The next few rounds were pretty fun. It seemed that MC had come up with all of the categories & questions on his own, which I liked. The remaining categories were Famous Pairs, Night & Day, -Ologies, and then a Name That Tune round. It was MC's 8 favorite artists. The first one was Coldplay, and after he played the clip some girl hollered, "You know how I know you're gay?" and it was pretty funny. We did the worst on that round, but I still impressed myself with the songs that I did get.

After the 5 rounds, there was a final bonus round where you wagered your points for one question. The category was First Ladies. The answer was Cleveland, which one group actually got right... how, I don't know.

Quick booze summary: We drank buckets the whole time. 5 Miller Lights for $2.50 each. We got 4 buckets & split the bill down the middle, so it worked out to about $12 per person. Not too bad for 5 beers.

At the end of each round, the team with the best score was called up to the bar for a round of shots. If there was a tie, the teams had a chug-off... which meant sucking a Guinness through a straw. Vom!! But it keeps things interesting. I didn't see what the winning team got, but I'm guessing it was more booze.

Me & D having a good ole time.

Overall, we had a great time! I'm planning on going back next week and possibly making it a regular thing. We'll see how the other bar trivia journeys go. If you're in Baltimore near Federal Hill on a Tuesday night, try to stop by around 8:30 and grab a table and an answer sheet. It's fun for a laid-back night out with a few friends. Hope to see you there!!

GRIPES about Muslim-haters

So the big story on the news lately is this REPREHENSIBLE mosque that is being built in lower Manhattan, just a few blocks from Ground Zero. Maybe it's because I am not religious in any way, shape, or form, but I couldn't believe the amount of news coverage that this "issue" was being given. Or maybe it's because I'm not batshit crazy. I dunno.

First of all, I thought everybody agreed upon that fact that Sarah Palin is an idiot, yet I keep seeing her voicing her thoughts over and over again. Who are these enablers that are letting her go on thinking her opinion has value?? Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but when one side is represented by Palin, I am not able to take them seriously.

I understand the sensitivity issue, but Al-Qaeda represents a small sect of extremist Muslims and their faults shouldn't be extrapolated to the entire group. How many extremist Christians/Catholics have done terrible things, including murder and terrorism, to make the entire group look bad? Ever heard of the KKK? Is it any surprise that they have roots in Christianity?   

Taken from a KKK website - "In order to be a regular Associate you must be able to profess faith in... Jesus the Christ." So naturally I should consider every person who believes in Jesus Christ to also be a member of the KKK. I think I'll do that. No, wait, that would be extremely uneducated and gross stretch of the imagination on my part.

Yet pundits and politicians in America are subjecting all Muslims to this behavior - punishing all for the actions of few. It's disgusting.

I noticed some debate over this whole topic on facebook and somebody brought up the notion that Timothy McVeigh was a redneck, so there shouldn't be any redneck bars allowed near the site of the Oklahoma City bombing. Some ignorant jackass responded, "At least rednecks are American." Sigh.

Indeed they are. Unlike Muslims who are all foreigners... Stupid people tend to generalize a lot, I've noticed. It's totally impossible that anyone who isn't white could be a true, red-blooded American! If you're a Muslim, you must look like a stereotypical Muslim (and a terrorist to boot!), and you can't possibly have been born here, and if you were, you were probably the result of this "anchor baby" trend.

I know that I could rip this idiot a new one if I wanted to, but I find it's easier to save my energy for people who aren't inbred. I really enjoy having intelligent debates with intelligent people, even if we are on opposing sides. It is so refreshing to be able to agree to disagree on subjects without resorting to washed-out, overused statements... eg: At least ________ is American!

Gross.

art show = success

Ok so the art show was really fun and we got free wine and pizza (which is always fun!) Unfortunately, I wasn't feeling well and so I didn't stay as long as I wanted to, but I did stay long enough to see my piece sell!... to my mom. Whatever, it looks good that my art is flying off the wall doesn't it? And I got to put another piece up, so Dennis went home real quick-like and got my basset hound picture. Now that one is up for sale. I'll probably do another one this week just in case... keep your fingers crossed for me.

My friend Stephen DiCarlo is a professional photographer down on the eastern shore, and he graciously sent me a link with tons of pictures of potential subjects (read: doggies) for my paintings. He does lovely photography so I'm going to have a hard time picking one! Here is a link to his website,  SMDi photography. I can't wait to start a new picture with one of these dogs! Thanks Steve :)