Flaming Drinks, Mud Baths, Single Fish, Scrabble History, Doggie Ice Cream, and Daddy Forbes

Oh man. Do you ever save voicemails from people just because you know it is so funny/thoughtful/whatever that you know you will want to hear it again, just not right now? I do that a lot. I'll save it and then when it is about to expire it's a pleasant surprise, like finding $5 in your pocket or in someone's pocket whose clothes you wash.

Well I do that with my gchats too. I mean they don't expire or anything, but sometimes I'll be in gmail rooting through my old emails and I'll spot a certain word or phrase that catches my eye and makes me think it might be worth reading again. Then I waste hours upon hours reminiscing about me and my hilarious friends and how much time I wasted at the Department of Labor aka DLLR (not because I was lazy or anything, I was just SUPER-EFFICIENT and got my work done super fast and therefore had way too much free time on my hands to gchat with my hilarious friends).

Come to think of it, that's probably why my blog was so great when I worked there. I had so much free time and lots of frustration to vent. Lots of stupid people to comment on, too. Oh, there was fodder galore! I guess what I wrote would be considered observational humor, and a lot of it was in the format of gmail conversations between me and co-workers about the life forms that populated my workspace. On days that I was feeling especially lazy, I would leave out much of my own commentary and just post gmail conversations that I thought were kind of funny.

I'm telling you this because I'm about to spam you with some gchats. Sorry about that.

Meredith: i'd love to meet her

Meredith: and spill a drink on her

Meredith: lthere are plenty

of other single fish in the sea  

why not go for the next best thing...

me: dating a fish

Meredith: HIS TWIN

me: oh 

Taylor: i think we should plan a girl date

we can pretend we're somewhere awesome for vacation

i mean its right next to a winery

on the water

its a resort

there are mud baths

throw yourself off the dock during low tide

me: omg.

i just used the word turd

Meredith: lol

amazing

scrabble history.

me: lol doggie ice cream?? wtf!

Sarah: you haven't seen that?

it is supposed to taste like peanut butter but it is nasty

me: ....so you tried it

Sarah: well, i had to see if it was good before i gave it to ella!

obv

Meredith: doyou want to come over tonight!

Lily and abbey and I are gonna eat panera

and watch "girl with the dragon tattoo" on TV

me: my pops is takin us to dinner

Meredith: well for fucks sake

thanks a lot daddy forbes

me: but shit when is it on

Meredith: I think it's on on demand

SO IT'S ON WHENEVER i DAMN WEL PLEASE

I hope you find these as entertaining as I did, and still do. And if not, then maybe you could spill a drink on me in the future. Just not a flaming drink.