Dexter: Season 5 Episode 7, plus I hate on Deb for awhile

I don't really feel like rehashing my stupid weekend from the last post so I am going to continue that later on. Sorry for those of you who were on the edge of your seat for the last week and a half. I'm flattered, but you all should really stop centering your life around my blog posts - it isn't healthy!

I think instead I am going to talk about... Dexter. The show, not my dog. Sorry Dexter 2. That 2 indicates that he came into my life 2nd in time, but he will always be number 1 in importance. Unless Dexter somehow gets insanely better, if that's even possible. Maybe if they replaced the whole cast with dogs that would be a good start. Can you even imagine? I'm just picturing what kind of dog they could use to sum up that asshole Quinn. God I hate him.

I don't usually review shows like this unless I hate them (see psychic rants) but my brother Darrell called me last night wanting to talk about True Blood so maybe I am just in the mood to talk turkey about television. I hate alliteration. Why did I just put myself through that? Ahem, back to my convo about True Blood. Darrell & I were chitchatting about Eric and Sam and all of my favorite characters on there. I just realized that we didn't even MENTION Lafayette. Dang! His storyline must be boring as hell because he is totally my favorite character and I didn't even think to talk about him. Sadface.

We talked about True Blood and other such worldly topics for awhile and then I watched the latest episode of Dexter and went to bed. By went to bed, I mean to say I procrastinated for a couple of hours, lollygagging if you will, and trying to extend my 48 minutes of Dexter. Once I am done watching an episode and there are no more left to watch, I look for reviews online so I can somehow lengthen the experience, like the episode is not really over yet.

I read a review that was just terrible. Terrible grammar and terribly written. Not exciting, no big words, nothing! So maybe that's another reason I want to write my own sort of review. I think I really just want to talk about Dexter to somehow stretch it even thinner so I don't have to think about how the next episode is not on for another 6 days. Agony!

Dexter: Season 5, Episode 7
"Circle Us"
SPOILERS! For the whole 5 seasons, just because I can.

What the crap was that nanny thinking, putting up some kind of religious relic over someone else's baby? I swear. I loved how Dexter said it was the most boring action figure ever. But seriously, that nanny chick is weird. I feel like every time Dexter leaves the house he has to worry about getting back at a reasonable hour. Ok that sounds stupid on my part. I don't know... just something about her rubs me the wrong way. Why is she given any storyline at all? Maybe she has a dark secret!! Or maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part!!

Secondly, but most importantly, Quinn needs to die. I am seriously hoping that this season ends with Dexter finding mad dirt on Quinn and killing his ass. What if Quinn was part of the ring of douchers that Dexter & Lumen are looking for now - wouldn't that be fantastic!? I'm sure Dexter would have something really witty and hilarious to say to Quinn while he was on the chopping block but I'm afraid a girl will just have to dream. I could supply some phrases though. "Well aren't we in a quinn-dary now!" HAHAHA! Man I crack myself up. Moving on!

Deb - what are you doing with Quinn, that asshole from the last paragraph? Deb's guy-dar is seriously broken. She needs to get that shit fixed pronto. First boyfriend from Season 1 was harmless, but a huge loser who had his paws all over Deb at lunch with Dexter and Rita, cause that spells CLASS. Then the Ice-Truck Killer proposes to her after like 2 weeks and she is all, Yes! Yes! I think he summed it up best when he said, "You were so desperate to be loved." It's true.

And isn't Deb still perpetuating this same crap over and over again with every guy she hooks up with? Who is next from Season 2... oh right, the guy from the gym, Gabriel. He was actually a nice guy but of course she effed it up, but she did redeem herself by choosing Lundy. He was a classy guy! Then he left to go skiing or something, I never really got that part but I do remember Deb wearing a ski hat. I liked Anton from Season 3 but still, she seems like such a snob when she's like, I can't date him.. DAD wouldn't approve. Girl, grow up! Dad is way too focused on Dexter, even in the afterlife. He could care less who you are nailing.

Season 4 - Lundy. That was sad. I liked Lundy and when you find out who actually killed him and why - oh my god. I wanted to kill that bitch myself. Then she asked Deb for forgiveness, what the hell was that? Ahh... ok now season 5, Quinn.

Deb: I don't want to be alone tonight.
Quinn: I'm no good for you.
Deb: I'm not looking for good.

Way to set the bar high, girl! You basically just admitted that Quinn is a piece of trash but you don't care as long as there is some booty in it for you. Sad day for womenkind everywhere. And poor Dexter, having to see that butthole in his apartment while Deb is supposed to be watching the baby. Seriously Deb - come on!

Wow I had to rant about Deb for awhile - I covered 5 seasons of crappy Deb decisions. Now back to Season 5 Episode 7. What is Lumen's deal? I mean, she is ok and stuff, but I honestly don't even feel like talking about her because she kind of sucks. I think I just wish she was an unknown actress instead of Julia Stiles. I keep thinking of other movies she has been in and how weird this role is for her. And god I really hope nothing romantic develops between them. They shared an awkward hug at the end of this episode that made me want to vomit. Stick to the handshakes, Dexter, and all will be well.

Hmm have I missed anything? I mean, the shooting at the club. I knew it was not going to end well for that chick who was supposed to be helping out the cops. Yasmin? Jasmine? I can't remember her name. LaGuerta totally dropped the ball by ordering the cop to go hang out with the Fuentes brothers. Then she said if anyone made any mistakes, it wasn't her! Poor Angel, just trying to help out with his adorable accent. He is such a cuddly teddy bear.

Final note: How disgusting is Liddy? I think it's a sign that he's a good actor but ugh, he makes my skin crawl. Typical for a dirty cop to blame the person that nailed him though. Sounds like something Quinn would say. Maybe he's on the same path (fingers crossed!!).

Aaaaand scene! I hope you enjoyed my recap of "Circle Us" as well as recaps from other various episodes throughout the lifetime of Dexter. On a completely unrelated note, on Friday my neighbor asked me if I have ADD. Adios!

Why I got a dog

 

Paint, I have rediscovered you

By Paint, I mean the paint program I had on my old laptop. I could never find an equivalent for Mac until I stumbled upon (literally AND figuratively!!)(Editor's note: That makes no sense unless you know about the site www.stumbleupon.com. You're welcome.) one of the most genuinely entertaining blogs on the planet. It is called Hyperbole and a Half. It is written by a girl named Allie who reminds me so much of myself that it is mildly creepy. I mean, she is 25, she made an Encino Man reference, she likes raptors, she is a grammar nazi, she touched my leg... what? The list goes on.

She draws a lot of pictures on her blog using a program for Mac called Paintbrush. I am so relieved that I read the FAQs on her blog because otherwise I would have never found it... because I am so damn lazy. I mean I looked for other programs and downloaded a few but they were too complicated and intimidating. I deleted them and then emptied the trash immediately so I wouldn't have time to look upon them in shame. Then I lived the rest of my life in despair until I found her blog. Seriously just read one post and I bet you will be hooked.

Anywho, her funny little pictures reawakened my inner artist... err.. computer-based artist. I drew a bunch of pictures on Paint when I worked back at the Department of Labor, but the only one I can think of off the top of my head is dedicated to rats. Robin, my lovely and amusing former co-worker, stated that we were like rats in a cage at our jobs. So I drew this for her:

See how freakin talented I was back in my heyday? So now I'm back on the wagon, and to start off I drew a picture to supplement my last post about trying to sleep in a bed meant for 2 humans, sans dog.

This is what I usually walk in and see. Dennis on the right as usual. Dexter... in my effing spot. Then if I try to move him he moans and groans like a wounded gnarwhal. On a related topic, what is a gnarwhal? It just sounded right at the time. In case you were wondering, Dennis is completely fine. That is not a an alien bursting from his shoulder; he just has a rad tattoo of a squid fighting a whale, and I gave this drawing 110% 17%. Actually I am proud of my Dexter picture and I'm surprised it turned out as nicely as it did due to the angry nature of my previous post from which this drawing is derived.

Fun fact: Don't they both look happy? Which makes it sad that the title of this picture is "sleepytime distress."

Dexter gets all up in my grill and this ain't no bbq

I got a deal today on LivingSocial.com for 4 movie tickets for $20. I am happy.

On another note, here's my dog:

Isn't he effin cute? The premise of this picture is actually really sad. I toss and turn trying to get to sleep most nights because D & Dexter take up so much space that I have to contort my body to try to fit into the jigsaw that is my sleeping situation. So once D wakes up and gets out of bed around 6, I take the opportunity to stretch out across the whole bed. It's nice because Dexter worships D so much that he always gets out of bed with D, leaving the bed all to MEEEEEE.

When D finally leaves, Dexter pines at the window for about ten minutes, then he realizes how effing early it is and tries to get back in bed. Now I'm sitting here, trying to think of a way to describe Dexter's company. The first word that comes to mind is "suffocating." Hm that's a little too strong. How about "no concept of personal space." Yea that's better.

So he gets back into bed and there's plenty of room on either side of me for him to stretch out. But he decides to curl up into a little ball for some reason, probably to increase his momentum (is that how physics works?). Then he curls up right up THISCLOSE next to me, which would be ok, maybe, but then he isn't even settled. It's like he's ready to lay down, he finds his spot, he plops himself down, and then he releases his breath or something, causing him to sway and then settle permanently on top of me. 

It's like someone sitting next to you in the airplane that is clearly too big for their seat sucking in their gut, then sitting down, giving you the illusion that hey, maybe they aren't going to expand all over me. Then they exhale and expand all over you.

It drives me crazy, cause then I try to scoot away, and he finds a way to reposition himself and scoot closer. So I do the only thing I can, which is to exile him from the room. He won't go willingly though. I have to say, "Wanna go potty?" So he gets all excited and runs to the stairs, then I shut the door and sigh contentedly as I drift away to dreamland. I get a good couple hours of sleep in, until I wake up and remember the terrible thing I did.

It wasn't that bad but I knew when I opened the door that his sad little face would be looking at me being like, "Why? Why did you banish me? Did I do something wrong?" and I'd be like, "Well, you were just all up in my grill and I couldn't sleep," and he'd be like, "Oh. I see. So I was trying to get close and snuggle up to you, and you wanted me gone. Ok." Then I'd scream, "Stop with the $#%*ing guilt trip already!!!!!!!" while tearing my nails down my face and writhing around. Meanwhile this conversation has been happening all inside my head. Maybe I should get another dog. Oh right back to the picture.

So I did finally open the door this morning and he did the same thing to the door that he does to me, (invade its personal space). I open the door and he falls into the room because he's all stacked up against the door, expanding a;KL <

\\\t.

Ahem. As I was saying, he's all stacked up against the door, expanding all over it. Excuse my typos, but someone just invaded my lap and tried to settle down. Guess who.

Anyway the picture is him after he joyously jumped back into bed and snuggled up with my blankets. It was cute and D asked me to take a picture, so there you have it.

Bohs: Volleyball & Wiffleball Edition, + my 2 Heroes

I've (surprisingly) been keeping up with my food blog, What's On Meghan's Plate, so I haven't really had time to post anything on my real housewives blog. That makes me a sad panda.

Average Bohs - We had an undefeated Sunday last week!! (Sep 5) It was the holiday weekend so only 4 of our team members were able to make it. Luckily one of our players, BJ, brought her husband and we were able to play. We played 4 games and won every single one. Woo hoo! It was so much fun and a great ego boost to win. It's always fun to play, but it doesn't hurt to win a few. :) We played again this Sunday and won 2 out of 4... not as ego-boosting, but still a good time as usual. Go Bohs! One of our players, LB, posted this picture on fb.

Next week is the playoffs, which means it's the last week of volleyball. That is such a bummer. But - wiffleball is starting in 3 weeks so hoorah! Can't wait to see how that turns out.

On another note, oh how I love Stephen Colbert. People are starting to request that Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert hold a rally in some sort of retaliation to Glenn Beck's piece of shit rally in DC. Did you know that there were a million people there, and that they aren't going to let anyone tell them the number were any less than that? Hahahaha. Ok. I'm not sure how I feel about the attention that Beck is getting, and even though it's supposed to be a diss or something like that, I'm sure Beck will cry about how this is proof that his rally changed the nation, nay, the world!! UGH. Anywho, enough about him.

PS. The title of the post was referring to Colbert & Stewart. ;)

Ok I gotta get out of this house and maybe take Dexter to the dog park. Or for a nice long walk. Ciao!

PPS. Dexter (the show) starts back up on Sep 26. Eeeee!!

dexter dog painting = done!

dexter dog

Almost done with this one. Just wanted to post an updated picture.

basset hound

I saw a picture of this baby basset hound on a friend's fb and decided it was a perfect model. This is Beaudie in oil on an 11x14 canvas, and I finished it in one day! Still working on my 16x20 Dexter. I think I'll submit Dexter for my first piece, and if it sells I'll put this one up next. I feel good about it. That's all for now.

beach volleyball

So I started a beach volleyball team called Averages Bohs and we had our first run tonight. It was totally RAD. Ok it was really fun and even though my forearms are red and covered in shards of mica, I had a blast. My team is awesome and I am hoping we can get together for some after-vball functions sometimes.

My neighbor (who is also an Average Boh!) got locked out of her house so I went out and sat on her stoop with her while we waited for her bf (another Average Boh!!) to get home. We drank a couple of beers and talked about our awesome game. We are having a practice on Tuesday night that I am really looking forward to.

I've had a busy weekend. On Saturday I went to BARCS and dog-walked for 2 hours. By that I mean, I walked with a guy while he walked dogs and he gave me pointers and stuff. I have to go back and do it one more time, then I can go walk the dogs unsupervised. YEA!!

But seriously, those dogs are so effin cute. Being around all of those excitable little doggies made me want to sprint home to Dexter and give him a big ol hug. Which I did. Then we took him to a pool party and threw him in... twice. He hates the water, but I think he is getting better with it (being thrown in against his will). I think we just need to work with him and give him some hot dogs and he'll be fine.

I have had this cough for like a week now & it's so bad I have to sleep in the guest room so I don't wake Dennis. This sucks!! Except that now I can catch up on my True Blood. Hell yea.

I haven't worked on any art since my last post, but I have to turn in my work for the art show on the 29th so I will be hitting it hard this week & will put up plenty of pictures. Now it's time for me to hit the hay. I got my Jasmine Green tea & some Tylenol PM. Hopefully it will help with my cough. Night!

and even more art

Just wanted to post these 2 pictures I started earlier tonight. Both of Dexter, duh. Feedback encouraged - aka which ones do you like and why? The picture I put up is going to be for public sale so I'm trying to figure out what the public would like. I love Dexter so I like these paintings, but I want to paint something that will appeal to people who don't know Dexter. So let me know what you all like. Thanks!!

some more art, plus the wire

I created 2 more pieces and finished (sort of) my Doggy Jail picture. I have to thank Courtney for taking that one - Dexter sits on the stairs and looks at us through the railing like he is in jail. Courtney took some pictures and dubbed it "Doggy Jail" and that's what we call it now when he goes there. So that's the first one. I tried to spice it up a little by using purple for the shading and blue for the muzzle markings and it turned out pretty neat, but I went a little further with the next two.

One is of him laying on the bed with his ear up in a funny way, and the other one is a duplicate of a picture from the last post. The picture I used as the model is the very first picture I ever took of Dexter. We visited BARCS during the week and saw 2 dogs that we liked. Over the next few days, Dennis said he had dreams about Dexter (then named Propellor) and that we had to get that dog.

We went back to BARCS on a Friday to see Dexter again but it was so crowded that there wasn't enough time to see him, or even to see if he was still available. We took home the adoption papers to fill out and crossed our fingers. We went back on Monday and as luck would have it, he was still there. We were so happy to see him again. We took him to a run outside and played with him off leash. I took that picture of him smiling with his huge mouth open and it's just perfect! What a great model!! :)

So I'll be creating a few more of that same picture with different color schemes to see how it turns out, and I might even try an Andy Warhol theme with it. I'll post the pictures.

On a separate note, Ashley lent us seasons 1-4 of The Wire and we have started watching. Wow, crazy show! So far, I am captivated. That is all for now - back to my painting. Night!

artwork

I'm going to try to enter some artwork into show to benefit BARCS (Baltimore Animal Rescue & Care Shelter). It has to be animal themed. Easy enough.. Dexter is my muse for most things anyway. I have so many pictures of him, I just have to pick a few and paint them. I have already done 2 and am working on a 3rd.

I can't find my oil paints so I am drawing with Oil Pastels and painting over the colors with paint thinner to blend them. So far it looks pretty good! I just want to make sure I capture the face that I fell in love with. I could possibly sell my work. That would be neato.

I need to get to bed but I wanted to post the pictures up here before I go. Let me know what you think. Thanks!

-Meghan